Petty Pryer for 500 please.

I need to stand on my soapbox for a couple of sentences. I was out with a friend a week ago and something petty but sufficiently childish happened at the tail-end of our alcohol-induced night. When my sobriety is flung out of the window with an unsure amount in ounces of tokyo teas, I tend to get pretty affectionate with whomever accompanies me during said alcohol consumption. So my friend whom I have known since I was a child was with me this particular night, and since my usually stiff demeanor was pervaded by liquor causing me to become flimsy, I resorted to what I like to call the infamous one-arm shoulder hang at which I am apparently skilled. Anyway, I was hanging on my friend for what seemed like the rest of the drunken night until he shows me a text message his boyfriend sends him saying he recieved a text from an anonymous source. From the grace of all that is sober, this is what my memory can gather:

Why is somebody sending me a text saying that you're with some guy and you two are all cuddly?

Oh, yes dear readers. Some tragic clubkid pulled a stunt from The Hills, and I am not havin' it. Here's what I have to say: If you have the audacity to be vindictive and then proceed to hide behind your little cellphone screen, the least you can do, well for yourself anyway, is grow a set and be a real bitch about it. Come up to me and say you're a nosy friend of a friend and interrogate me. Even if my relationship with my friend is none of your fucking business, make it your business since you already decided to play phone spy regarding a situation completely irrelevant to your intentions for going out that night in the first place.

Good. So it's settled. So you can shave your back now. Bye Jason.


This picture is completely irrelevant to the content of this post. Just a little mirror cam'whoring with my favorite fashionista.

Aside from that dispensable debacle, I had a great time with a great friend, and all I can do now is laugh at the depths that people will go for entertainment.

Oh and that thing about Alber Elbaz for Target was my attempt at a little APRIL FOOLS fun. Sorry if you were genuinely excited, haha.

<3

Haul.

I had myself a little shopping extravaganza yesterday while playing hooky from work. I'm such a horrible shopper because I just wander into places without any expectations for my potential purchases. I don't even have an idea of where I want to shop; I seriously just drive around and park wherever an impulse strikes me. It's pretty tragic but provides for an incredibly random adventure that almost always results in major hauls.

I actually started off at a fabric store where I found an assortment of the most beautiful yet very delicate metallic chiffon's. I couldn't think quickly enough of what the fabric could be used for to suede a purchase, so constant groping and minute-long glares had to suffice. I did though leave with a couple yards of a plain black cotton-blend which I took minutes later to a seamstress to have sewn into drop-crotch pants. Immediacy? Cravings? I steer my own ship.

I then found myself wandering into a formal-wear store where if I'm correct, inaugurated my obsession with bow-ties. I was helped by a really sweet saleslady who busted out some gems in vivid hues and couldn't later resist buying. I also snagged two suspenders in plain black and dark navy. Before I checked out, something completely subtle yet vigorously bitchy happened in a short convo I had with the saleslady while trying on the last of my ties. Here's how it went:

What I thought she said: Those are so stylish. (referring to the tie)
My response: I know, right?

What she really said: You're so stylish!

Hahahahahaha! She probably thought I had my nose jammed so far up a dark crevice with that type of response. I don't think she caught it though because we continued in regular conversation until I checked out. So two suspenders and four bow-ties in my shopping bag--not bad, eh?



To conclude my purchases, I ended up at Bench where I picked up a couple of short-sleeved button-ups along with a striped cardigan that was surprisingly on sale. And since a reliable photographer is not at my beckoning these days, I snapped a couple of quick shots in the dressing room.


(Kohl's wool fedora, American Apparel mint big tank, self-made starfish pendant, self-made bow-tie necklace, Ross cigarette pants, K-Mart canvas shoes)

Did anyone else hear/read about Elbaz doing a line for Target this Fall?

toodles<3

Chocolate Starfish.

Just a quickie before I head to work. I woke up at the crack ass of dawn this morning to apply for a business license for reasons too pathetic to even mention. I went home and sank into my dreams for a couple of hours and that was my fulfilling day.

I bought this double-breasted bad boy once the page loaded and my eyes met the screen. What impulse shopping? Haha and then I found out that my friend is already making sweet epidermis love to it as he purchased his weeks earlier. I realized that online shopping at 1AM induces incredible irritation to my mood mostly because I'm fighting my eyelids closing on me and some websites wait to mention shipping locations after you've bagged hundreds of dollars worth of mass market goodness.

Anyway, I had a couple of hours to kill the other day and went gallivanting through random stores until I found myself walking into a craft store. It never appeared to me the creative freedom one has once enveloped in such a DIY atmosphere. I left with a bag of the most adorable miniature teddy bears, a ceramic starfish and seaman's anchor, miniature hangers, and a bag of pins. My little trip to the craft store resulted in the creation of three of my new favorite brooches.



Too bad the ceramic pieces are inconveniently heavy thus weighing down lightweight t-shirts. I better skedaddle out of here before traffic gets all kinds of crazy. Oh, and a huge Congrats to Rumi over at fashiontoast for her most recent endeavors! Your legions of worshipers (including myself) are proud of you!

Hang.

I have been living in my long johns for the past few days now. They're amazingly comfortable; plus it's always fun to watch people stare at your donk as you pass them. Ha. I haven't really been doing anything too exciting these days. Hooray for minimum-wage jobs! That's really what consumes a chunk of my time nowadays. All work and a pathetic amount of play. Bleh.

As I type, I am trying to convince myself (wtf?) that my wardrobe needs to be rebuilt, and moderately-priced mass market clothing is where I should start. Yes? Yes.



(Striped-tee, jewel pin, bow tie necklace, FTL long johns, thrifted BDU boots.)

Stumble.

The expanse of my vocabulary isn't so spectacular, but the closest word I can think of to describe myself at present day is melancholy. I feel like I'm at a standstill, and sadly this isn't the first time I have felt like this. It's continuously recurring, and I have yet to find a remedy to climb out of this black hole. I really wish I was a naturally chipper person regardless of the horrible influences in circumference of me, but I'd rather be flesh than plastic. I apologize if this is such a boner-kill for anyone reading; bare with me while I search for the spring in my step.

Moving on. I wore this last night to go out, and before I walked into the club, one of the drags mingling outside said, "LOVE the outfit." Haha I always feel validated when a drag queen comments on my style.


(Royal Bics bow-tie, Bench shirt, thrifted biker jacket, K-Mart belt, Ross pants, thrifted shoes.)

i can't think of a witty title for this one.

The past couple of days have been a little crazy for me. I've had to adjust the way my time is spent throughout the day, now that my duo-set of jobs consumes every single minute available to me. I was about ready to shank one of my managers on Monday because I had to stay behind almost 2 hours beyond my scheduled shift. But enough of that--back to fashion.

The latest collections I had a chance to 'review' were Balmain, Balenciaga, & Nina Ricci. I was disappointed that Decarnin showed an almost exact replica of his Spring collection for Fall. I felt like an audience member watching that scene in Bring It On when the two squads performed the same routine back to back. There were about two or three looks that I'm sure last season's Balmain groupies have already set as their desktop wallpaper, but other than those looks, it was an extension of Spring. I can't even discuss Balenciaga. & the footwear at Nina Ricci? Kudos to the models who walked for Theyskens in those 9+inch heel-lees platforms.

Anyway, I know I haven't done an outfit post in ages, so here's to 4AM photo sessions.




(Oversized pocket-tee, FTL cream long johns, vintage Calico boots, scissor necklace, virgin mary pin, faux tortoise-shell bracelet)

Okay, how do you spell GABBANA?

(to the tune of If I Were A Boy)
If I had a hot pocket .....



My name is Mariacarla Boscono, & this is how you do fierce.

So I'm assuming Balenciaga has already shown because of this. I commend anybody regardless of your position in the service industry. It's a significantly different experience working tables as opposed to dining on them, and I think it's something that people who eat out regularly should realize. I made a thousand mistakes today, but I learned a thousand new things and thank God for tragic managers because otherwise my life would be too perfect.

How are you all consuming Fashion 'Month'? Let me know which designers left you salivating and which ones just need to wake up from a horrible nightmare.

<3